It is Well

Anticipation is terrible feeling, something is coming, just beyond your reach and it taunts you from the darkness. 4 years ago, at this time, I was anticipating another year of nothingness, an empty heart, my chest void of joy. If my future could have been described by my past in one word: bleak. I had no joy for life, I was terribly depressed, lonely and isolated.

Over the next few months, I continually cried out to God to lift me out of the darkness, but I sank deeper still. Why did God allow me to suffer? Why did I continue to suffocate in the pitch-black abyss of my own mind? I cried out to God still, I only heard my own weeping.

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Writing through the Waters

I am the greatest of procrastinators. I delay, I find excuses, and I make justifications to wrestle with the pressing of God’s blessing on how he gifted me. I am a writer and I hate writing. I find it like homework. I find it unbearable how teachers (each teacher is different for those who are in the profession {in your defense 😀 }) subject you to tasks to meet some arbitrary word count, either regurgitating what you already read or to do further research on something you usually have a minuscule connection to. I could list countless examples, but I digress.

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The strength of a Warrior: How God helped me battle fear

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind”         

– 2 Timothy 1:7

For as long as I canlw remember, fear was something that controlled who I was and what I did. I allowed fear to keep me away from pursuing my goals. It was a huge factor in relationships as I struggled to trust others and trust God.  Fear had become my unwanted guest – the one that overstayed their welcome much longer than I had the energy to deal with. It was a cancer to my soul as it slowly killed off any surge of joy or hope I attempted to grasp. My heart was longing to be set free and open, and yet I was bound by fear and anxiety so much that I became prone to panic attacks.

At first, I was able to manage these, and would try to keep away from places that would “spark triggers”. Eventually, my avoidance led to agoraphobia. That means that my fears had exacerbated to the point where I could no longer leave my apartment for fear of something bad happening to me.

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Born Again

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There I was, on my hands and knees. My heart ripped out of my chest. I went from having what I thought was everything, to having nothing. I was completely alone, scared, empty and broken down. I had no more tears to cry. It was 3:00 am on September 15th 2018 that I wanted to die. I chose to give up and throw in the towel. I was done. That was the night that would change my life forever. This is the story, my story, about a lost broken soul that was miraculously found and restored to find a NEW hope, and a NEW future. 

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Eric’s Story

I’m Eric Eckert and my story begins on May 29th 1986, I was born from a biological mother who abused drugs & alcohol and put in jail twice while pregnant with me. I was born with a cancer called Fibrosarcoma throughout my body and even in my chest cavity and coming out throughout my back.  I was expected to die in several months according to the doctors. The State of Arizona took me away from my birth mother immediately at birth. Several months after my birth the doctors chose to amputate my right foot below my ankle because it was completely full of cancer. I spent the first 3 months of my life in a hospital and a total of 11months of my life on Chemotherapy.

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Home

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Imagine being surrounded by the unknown. You walk through the arch of your destination, one that you’ve never seen before. Scores of individuals are gathered in circles, chatting away with an increasingly loud volume and staring as you slowly and fearfully move from the outside to the inside. As you proceed to move past the swarms of people, the intense pressure and evident intrigue of the locals creates a sense of the room closing on you, as if someone was turning the room pitch black like the end of an episode from cartoons of decades past. You see a silhouette quickly closing in. The person greets you with a smile and asks your name, but most of your energy is focused on staying awake. The one person then proceeds to fire a barrage of questions, genuinely interested yet unaware of your background, circumstances, feelings, etc.

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My Testimony

My dad is a pastor, so I grew up in a loving Christian home where my parents always taught of God’s love for me. When I was six, I made the decision to accept Christ. As I look back on it, I know it was a genuine decision, but it wasn’t until many years later that I came to truly know and appreciate a deep relationship with God.

I was a pretty good kid as the years went by. In high school, I was the type of kid who would rather stay home playing games or watching movies with my parents instead of going out and partying. I had a strong sense of identity in Christ and was proud of being a Christian. I was the drama and choir geek who, on the outside at least, seemed to be proud of her outgoing, crazy, loud self. However, on the inside, I felt a strong need to belong. I wanted to be the popular one, the girl who got the guy, the one who every girl wanted to be.

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