There I was, on my hands and knees. My heart ripped out of my chest. I went from having what I thought was everything, to having nothing. I was completely alone, scared, empty and broken down. I had no more tears to cry. It was 3:00 am on September 15th 2018 that I wanted to die. I chose to give up and throw in the towel. I was done. That was the night that would change my life forever. This is the story, my story, about a lost broken soul that was miraculously found and restored to find a NEW hope, and a NEW future.
For most of my life I was living lost, with no sense of direction, sort of just existing if you will. Close your eyes, now picture a brand-new sports car, now think of that brand-new sports car just parked, sitting there collecting rust and dust. All that potential and beauty, yet going nowhere, but going nowhere fast. Well, that was me. Growing up I had tons of potential, and many opportunities that I squandered because of endless poor life choices. My world revolved around 2 things, me…and beer. Man I loved my beer! Beer made everything better! It made me better, or so I thought. My selfishness and idea that beer cured everything inevitably led to my demise. I had an amazing, loving girlfriend, a great job, a nice home, a dog who greeted me every time I walked through the door. I thought I had it all, but I always felt like I was missing something. I felt as if I was constantly chasing fulfillment and trying to find that in everything the world had to offer. It took me losing everything, to finally give in and decide that I couldn’t do life on my own anymore, I didn’t know everything. I needed help. I needed God. It was that dark humid night on September 15th that I surrendered my entire life to Him.
The bible calls it repentance, to sincerely ask God to forgive you of your sins and transgressions. Not knowing that I was taking the first step to the rest of my life, I repented. It wasn’t long after I accepted Jesus Christ in my life that He found me. It was like night and day, how my life had begun to change from that moment! I felt like my life went from falling apart to finally falling together. The more I began to lean into Him and lay all of my burdens down at foot of the cross, the more that He began to polish up that old rusty sports car. Continuing to be obedient, repent and pray for guidance, it began to allow for His light to shine upon me! I prayed for God to show me how to live, not only did He show me how to live, He gave me life! He opened my eyes to the future that He always wanted for me. He gave me Hope.
It’s only been a year, but man what a year it has been. I’ve experienced so much growth and maturity since being reborn in Jesus Christ. Just like a newborn baby has needs that can only be fulfilled by its mother, a born-again Christian has needs that can only be fulfilled by our father in heaven. Just when I thought I was down for the count with nothing else to live for, Jesus reached out his hand, called me forgiven, showed me love and mercy and breathed new life into me. Not only did God restore everything that I thought I had lost, he replaced it tenfold. He goes by many names, El Elyon, (God Most High) Jehovah Jireh (The Lord who provides) Jehovah Shalom (The Lord is Peace) but to me, He is Jehovah Rapha, (The Lord that Heals and Restores.) Because that is exactly what He did, He took my broken heart, broken hopes and dreams, and like a master healer and restorer he brought me back to 100%
Remember that sports car, well it’s finally moving, and God’s behind the steering wheel on this ride. I started this journey of life lost, and like the parable of the lost sheep in the gospel of Matthew, Jesus found me. I now live loved, forgiven and full of the hope of God’s promises. I don’t remember being born by my mother but I will never forget being reborn in Jesus Christ.
– Brett Yazzie