How frustrating is it to do a puzzle and then get to the end and realize, oh, my gosh, I’m missing a piece?! You almost want to call the manufacturer and be like, nooo! I need it. I need my piece. You need the satisfaction. Because how many of you know the joy of doing a puzzle is actually all about putting the last piece into place?! So, why is it that, in life, we’re always feeling like there’s one last puzzle piece we haven’t found yet?
As Easter approaches, I spent my day reflecting on today’s date – March 31. It was Easter day six years ago today. That morning was both an amazing and difficult day for me. It was the morning I got baptized and also the morning my Grandmother passed away.
They say our social media is a highlight reel, and they’re right! I wish I could tell you that it all matches up but the truth is, it doesn’t. Believe me, there’s a whole other side of life behind the scenes. A lot of you know this, but I know there’s a lot of you that don’t. Only those close to me have been in constant prayer over me to kneel and stand by my side. This isnt easy to admit and say “out loud” but I think it’s totally worth sharing. I’ve been in a battle. A battle within myself. A spiritual battle, physical and emotional, all at once!
I find myself frustrated in my current season, fighting feelings of inadequacy as I am struggling to move forward into the state of being I want to thrive in. Sometimes, honestly, a lot of times, this season feels as though I am climbing a sand dune. But the sand is loose and the dune angled steeply. I stay in the same place or slide backwards losing visual progress despite my effort. I get frustrated and I blame myself because I see it as failure. I laugh because I get nowhere and am enjoying the exhaustion of effort and ridiculousness of it all.