Anticipation is terrible feeling, something is coming, just beyond your reach and it taunts you from the darkness. 4 years ago, at this time, I was anticipating another year of nothingness, an empty heart, my chest void of joy. If my future could have been described by my past in one word: bleak. I had no joy for life, I was terribly depressed, lonely and isolated.
Over the next few months, I continually cried out to God to lift me out of the darkness, but I sank deeper still. Why did God allow me to suffer? Why did I continue to suffocate in the pitch-black abyss of my own mind? I cried out to God still, I only heard my own weeping.